Your Bipolar Girlfriend: “Nobody ever loves a sad, depressed girl.”
Everybody falls for the charm of a manic pixie. How can you not love those big dark eyes and childish laughter? Kissing in a tent in the woods, frolicking in blue waters and white sand, counting endless summer days – it's the deal that you sign up for when you date one.
But a few weeks on, you notice something strange.
“What is happening to you?” you ask, as her voice breaks over the phone and tells you about something that you said or did which upset her.
It's a puzzle: the beautiful bud suddenly has thorns; the light pink petals suddenly become dark crimson. This isn't the stemmed flower that you plucked and put in a vase.
Maybe you fail to realize that she is, in fact, a multi-dimensional person.
Or maybe you never fully grasped the news, “I've been diagnosed with bipolar, twice.”
What is going on in a depressed girl's mind?
When a bipolar girl gives you the emotional tantrums, it is sometimes a good sign because it means she is trusting you with her feelings.
However, please understand that she might also be thinking and feeling all these other thoughts simultaneously:
She is sabotaging your relationship by being an emotional freak.
Low self-esteem comes with depression. So does self-blaming and feeling like being the root and cause of all troubles and issues.
You are capable of loving only the happy side of her.
Depression has a knack for making you feel worthless. It makes you feel undeserving of love and that nobody is capable of loving you to begin with, because you're such a worthless, pain-in-the-ass creature.
She must not display any form of weakness anymore; it is a turn off.
Thinking that her depression pushes you away, she wears a mask to hide her true emotions, or maybe she will just completely withdraw.
Nobody ever loves a sad, depressed girl.
It's a reality. People with bipolar carry depression – plus a host of other unpleasant symptoms – as a baggage. More often than not, nobody is willing to stay or carry it with them.
Sometimes, they just leave you before you leave them.
“Everybody has a baggage; bipolar disorder just has a name.”
Like all mature relationships, those involving bipolar disorder need endless support, mutual understanding, love, patience, and kindness.
It can be nerve-wracking compared to “normal” relationships, because bipolar disorder can change and affect a person's mood to a point that you could barely recognize them.
The beautiful bud that you met in the summer could become a cactus in the next few months.
How to deal with bipolar mood swings
Should this happens, be strong in your resolve and offer assurance that you will continue to love and stay together.
Never make them feel misunderstood and unaccepted; just let them speak. Let them cry, offer a shoulder, don't be quick to judge.
When the tears have dried and the tantrums subsided, when your beloved has started taking care of herself again — you will again see sunbeams and rainbows shining through her eyes.
Upon learning that she can rely on you to offer support in difficult times, your relationship will grow stronger. She will become determined to do her best and become a better person – for herself and for your relationship.
Maybe someone can love a depressed girl, after all.